It is so interesting to watch The Journey of the New Health Coach. I see it time and time again with coaches. Not only that, I went through exactly this myself! They experience sickness or health issues themselves, get well, and rightfully get excited about helping others when asked how they persevered. They give things away for free instead of building their business and soon the overwhelm and frustration sets in. Before you know it, they get sick again from stress and from helping others more than themselves. And suddenly, inadequacy plays a part in their health coaching business and they begin to question if they were really cut out for it.
So how do we break the cycle? I talked about this recently on my Facebook Business page and I need to share this out for people to make sure they don’t fall into this trap, as well.
For those who like to read instead of watch, here’s the full text of the video:
Hello! This is something that came to me while I was thinking about the process that health coaches are going through to get into their business. I was thinking about this last night and it’s an all too common theme and I don’t know many coaches that haven’t experienced this in some form or fashion.
So, I’m going to talk a little bit about it today, about what the health coach journey looks like and what I have seen and experienced myself. And actually give you just a couple of maybe some tips or hopefully some relief from going down this road. So, if you’re hopping on and say hello, tell me if this is you. If you can relate to this at all put it in the comments. Anything you want to say or ask about health coaching I’m here to answer your questions.
The Journey of the New Health Coach
So, this is what I see and what I’ve seen and what I’ve been through. Let me just make a story for you. Person gets sick, person goes through a very lengthy and a difficult health journey of trying to figure out what’s wrong with them. They don’t get help from conventional medical care, family and friends wonder what’s wrong with that person, person might even be told that they’re crazy. They might be told that they’re nuts, that there’s nothing wrong with them, thousands of dollars spent on doctors visits and other alternative modalities trying to get relief from either pain, fatigue, depression, sadness, gut, leaky gut problems, skin disorders, whatever.
Person then finds out that taking control of their health is the only way they’re going to get well and starts to make changes.
Now, we’re talking about the inevitable health coach
Person then starts to feel better, regains their energy, loses weight, gets their skin problem under control. They start to feel better, has a better outlook, everyone starts to notice that this person is coming out of some dark place. And they say, “Oh my gosh how did you end up going from, how did you lose 60 pounds? Last time I saw you you were barely able to function. I saw you at Thanksgiving and you looked so tired. How did you get to this vibrant, healthy place?” Person then says, “I went to all these doctors and I figured it out for my own. And I’ve got a method of getting well and reaching optimal health.” Then everybody wants to know from that person, “How did you do that? Tell me more.”
Then the brain pickers come in. They want that person who is regaining their health and has been through hell, probably without very much support from those said family or friends, to help with their health, which is exciting. It makes us feel good. Yes. Oh yeah, I’m sure you have been there. I went through it too.
And they all want to know, “Well, is it just a matter of what you ate? What supplement did you take? Were you on a multi-level marketing program? What powders did you drink? Are you vegetarian? Did you stop eating meat?” All of these questions start coming in. You figure out as this person that’s been on this journey that you’ve got something to say! You’ve got a way to help people. And, oh my gosh, that journey of misery with your health was not for no reason. I just did a Webinar on this about how to use your health journey to help other people.
But here’s the part that no one’s talking about that I’m going to talk about because I like to talk about the truth.
And the truth is this.
When that person gets sick, goes to all those doctors and has failed many times by conventional and many times functional medical care is talked to like they’re crazy by their friends and family, is misunderstood and not supported, then starts to get asked for help, that person gets excited and they start to figure out that they can help other people. They start to build a business around this.
They get overwhelmed, frustrated, and stressed out because they’re either trying to help people for free, they’ve created a hobby and now everyone wants their help for free, or they can’t figure out how to do this on their own.
And the next thing you know they’re lying awake at night. They’re exercising more because they’ve gained weight and they don’t know why. They can’t remember that they went through this already, adrenal problems start to kick in and they start to feel not so great. Now they start to feel like they’re a fraud because they’re trying to help other people but they’re getting sick again. And then they figure out, “Well, maybe if I’m back in this boat again I don’t belong being a health coach at all,” confidence goes down the crapper, business doesn’t get built, and everyone gets miserable all over again.
Does this sound familiar?
But here’s what I want to say is that this is not necessarily the path that you have to go down. It’s the path I went down and the path that a lot of my health coaches are going down and I see a lot of the conversation around this topic of, “I’m a fraud. I can’t even help myself.” Or, “I can’t even lose the weight that I want to lose,” or whatever.
But it usually started out with that journey at the very front-end of misery. You made your way through it, very happy. Everyone wants to know your secret. You’re excited to share that secret and that passion to the detriment of your own health and business. And the next thing you know, you’re going down that path again and you’re getting depressed or you’re worried about money. You’re stressing yourself out, your relationships start to suffer, then you think you shouldn’t do this at all and you’re back in the same boat again. So that’s not good, right? That’s not good.
We don’t always get that so-called heart attack that wakes us up from this journey of self-destruction or sabotage that we head down. So, what I want to say is before you head down that road of not getting well again, and being fatigued, and sinking back into any adrenal problems or any other issues that you have because you think other people need your help make it a priority to help yourself first no matter what that looks like.
Once we move through a journey and we get excited and everybody recognizes that we figured out some magical way, like real eating, whole food, and maybe sleeping we tend to forget that we need to put ourselves first in this process because we’re going to end up back in the boat of not being well again. I’ve seen it over and over again. That is a problem because even if you are still in the middle of trying to figure out what’s going on with your health problems you’re still able to help others but you’ve got to put yourself on the front burner first. Okay.
How do we stop it?
First of all, don’t have the heart attack. And what I mean by that and what I was talking about earlier was sometimes it takes a heart attack to wake us up. When we’ve already been woken up once if we’d been down a health journey that was a difficult road to go down we’ve already been woken up once. We have figured it all out, we’ve gotten better, we’ve gotten on the other side. But then life came in and we started to decide, “Well, I’m going to help other people.” And then, we went down that road again.
So, what I’m telling you is this. Is if you feel yourself starting to get tired or maybe letting go of some of your healthier habits that helped you to get through that journey in the first place or people say to you, “You seem short tempered,” or, “You don’t seem so happy,” or, “You’ve got dark circles under your eyes,” or whatever it is pay attention.
Back up a little bit, look at yourself first before you start helping other people in the deeper sense.
You know what? I don’t have to take on 12, 13, or 15 clients this month. I can take some time for myself and take half of Friday off to practice self care. It is only going to benefit your business for you to take care of yourself. One of the things that I had to do when I went down that road is I started to take naps, even if it was 15, 20 minutes of just knocking myself out, listening to some meditative music, doing some Holosync CD’s.
And then, another thing that I did was I started taking half of Friday off. When I realized I needed more I started taking the entire day off of Friday. So, Monday through Thursdays were my days to work. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I did not work.
The only thing I think that truly helped me from going right down that rabbit hole of adrenal problems again was recognizing that no one else’s health was worth my own.
No one else’s problems were worth my own health.
Not family members, no friends, nobody messaging me to help them, none of that was worth me going back down that road of ill health all over again. Especially when I still have loose ends to tie up. So, I want to encourage you to not, in the interest of helping other people the best thing that you can do to be the best health coach that you can be is to help yourself first. That doesn’t mean don’t coach people while you’re working through the journey, that means help yourself more than you’re helping other people.
Okay? Is this making sense for anybody? If you’re in that space right now where maybe you think you shouldn’t be doing this, or you’re exhausted, or whatever, take the day if you can to really evaluate how many hours a day do you need to really commit to building your business right now, and how many hours a day do you have, and are you committing to yourself for self care?
Self care doesn’t have to be costly and it doesn’t have to be fancy.
And I’m not like, “Oh, go to this spa, get your nails done.” Self care can be something as simple as saying, “I’m unplugging for the rest of the day”. Or, “I’m going go sit outside.” Which is where I’m headed here in about 10 minutes to sit outside and get my 10 to 20 minutes of sun and listen to my new meditation’s on breathe. The Breathe app that you guys don’t have that app it’s fascinating and it’s great. They’ve got all kinds of great tips.
Add in little moments throughout your day that give your parasympathetic response time to come in and say, “Oh, we’re on right now. We can quiet the fight or flight. Don’t think about anyone else. We are only going to think about ourselves.”
And I promise you this. If you put yourself first that health coaching business and all those people that are waiting to be helped by you, they’re going to wait. They will wait, and they will receive the better version of you than the one who’s rundown. With low confidence, low self worth and doesn’t have any clue if you’re even going to be able to make it to the end of the contract with those people.
So, I’m here and not that you need my permission but sometimes we need an outside source of permission to take care of ourselves. So, I’m giving you that today.
I want you to be realistic about your idea of what it means to be a healthy health coach that takes care of themselves, puts themselves first, and shows up for people as an authentic person.
And that means by saying, “You know what? Hey, I’m in this with you. I’m going down my own health journey. So, these are the days that I work Monday, Wednesday and Thursday or Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or whatever.” Take Friday off, test it out, dip your toe in the water. It feels really good to shut off that computer on a Friday and walk out the door and say, “Everything can wait for me until Monday. I am going to go have coffee or tea with my friends. I’m going to go for a walk. I’m going to lay on the floor with my dogs.”
Self care doesn’t have to be costly and it doesn’t have to be fancy. And you don’t have to take pictures of yourself doing it and showing people. You can just unplug and just get centered and present. That in itself was the best self care that I ever gave to myself was how can I get present in this moment and really dial into what I need to be the best health coach that I can be for other people which means to be good to myself first.
Not everything appears to be what it seems
So many times you guys when you’re out there searching around on social media and you’re trying to figure out who to follow, and who’s got the best advice, and all that, it’s not necessarily going to be the person who’s wearing the nicest clothes. Or has the best hair and they’re there on a beach, and on vacation.
It may just be that person that shows up on your computer in this moment today and they’re not charged up. Their hair is in a ponytail, and they’re telling you that it’s okay to take care of yourself in the most simple way possible in the confines of your own home. In the peace of your own family, doing the things that you love to do.
All right. So, take care of yourselves today you guys and don’t fall into the cracks of The Journey of the New Health Coach. And I will be back with more tips. Please go out and visit us at InstituteForFunctionalHealthCoaching.com. Take one 10 minute time frame today or even two minutes. DoNothingForTwoMinutes.com is also another great way to figure out what it feels like just to close your eyes and get centered even if it’s just for two minutes. See you later and have a great day!