Do you ever feel like you are swimming in circles when it comes to your business and you don’t know what to do next? You Need to Address This ONE Thing! Keep on reading and watch a recent video where I discuss how all other things can be useless if this one thing is a problem for your clients and you. Core beliefs and programming can undo ALL your success. Your clients may not reach goals if they don’t know what is causing the root of their issues beyond food, sleep, etc. Tune in!
For those who like to read instead of watch, here’s the full text of the video:
Hello. Hello everybody, Carmen here, and we are obviously talking about some outside-the-box stuff. When you come to my page, you can expect to hear things that you’re not hearing on other trainings about things that health coaches should be paying attention to in their business.
Now, I want to talk about this one thing because it can actually undo every single thing that you’re doing with your clients.
Many times when health coaches get started in their practice or in their business, they immediately think it’s we’ve got to start with food, we’ve got to start with food or we’ve got to start with sleep, we’ve got to start with exercise, they’re putting their clients on these elimination plans or meal plans or whatever, all of that stuff is important, of course it’s important, so please don’t take this live as believing that here I am saying that none of that stuff is important. It is.
So, when I started the school and I started teaching health coaches back in, I think it was 2014 or 15, I had my first course to teach coaches and it was only about a two week course, it was really short. And, it was talking about all of the typical things that health coaches talk about. You’re talking about food, talking about exercise, talking about stress. And, we talked about sleep and then as time went on, I realized as I’ve been working with my clients, many times I would put all of these things out there for them to work on or to try or to adjust or to consider changing.
We’re talking about things like going gluten-free, we’re talking about things like cleaning up your sleep environment, we’re talking about things like don’t exercise so much. All of those things. And then what I would find out with many of them, they would find some relief and some would achieve some goals and things like that. But, there would sometimes be this thing that was just not, they weren’t getting all the way there. And I would say, “What have we not talked about? What have we not addressed here?”
And so, as the years went on, in 2017 when I opened up The Institute for Functional Health Coaching, I had spent years working with hundreds of clients and trying to figure out, have I covered every single thing that a coach would need to know to be able to help their clients?
And, I realized that the two things that were not being addressed, many of the times when I was first starting with my clients was working on trauma and spirituality.
What were their beliefs? What was their system? Did they have support? Did they have a thing bigger than themselves? And that was spirituality. So, we don’t talk about it as Christianity, as Buddhism or anything like that, we’re talking about spirituality in general.
Everyone needs a bigger thing that they believe in, somebody that we can throw our prayers up to or our energy up to and ask for someone to watch over us. So that’s one of the things I thought, “This is really important.”
The other thing is trauma. And, this is the number one thing that I can tell you right now that I can say that you can get all of the food in order, you can get them working on a safer way to exercise, they can be sleeping better, they can be having more fun, they can be dealing with stress in a better way. All of these pieces, their spirituality ,could be on point. But, if there is something else, something going on underneath the surface that you cannot figure out, it is usually has to do with something that has to do with trauma or programming. And I believe that trauma and programming can be talked about in the same conversation, which is why I’m talking about this right now.
Because many times, and this is something that I want to make sure that you’re really clear on what it means, so that you can stay with me as I go through this conversation. So, trauma of course, can be anything. And we’re not just talking about sexual abuse or abuse or, a loved one dying when we’re small or something like that. We’re not just talking about that. These can be things as small as, and I say “small” but it’s not small to somebody.
Think about the person who’s afraid to swim. Let’s just use that as an example. You’ve all probably met people that are afraid to swim or they’re afraid of water or whatever. Historically you could look back and say, “Well, where did this come from?” And most of the time there’s going to be a story like this. “Well, I was afraid of the water when I was little, and so my dad just literally threw me in and said, ‘you’ll figure it out.'” And that made them afraid of water for the rest of their life.
Someone might’ve burned their hand on a stove when they were four, and now whenever they turn on the stove, they get a rush of adrenaline through their body. We have to really expand our thinking around what trauma really is.
So, I’m going to talk about programming in just a moment, but the thing is this, is that if we have, and I’m going to use this as an example, if we have someone that we’re working with and they’ve done everything right and they’ve got all the pieces in place, and yet they’re still living in some fight or flight. There’s some feeling inside of them that they cannot get into parasympathetic. And maybe somebody breathing could make them jump. That’s fight or flight.
Usually, we have to dig in and find out, where’s this coming from? What happened to you around the situation that this feeling is coming up? And that can be things that’s buried in their cells, it’s kind of the things that are deep within them that maybe they don’t even know.
And, I always tell the same story about the one girl that had the constipation because it’s so important that we understand that this can go back so far that that they may not even remember or know that that’s where the problem is coming from. So the constipation story, which is to me, is a freaking miracle. The girl in her forties wasn’t going to the bathroom, constipated, and we kept digging back into her history, and the way that we do that as health coaches, is we don’t become counselors, we don’t become therapists.
That’s not what we are. We are inquiring, we are investigating, we are asking questions. Any time you’re trying to help a client find out the source of their problem or where it’s coming from, it’s an investigative approach, and that means asking questions. How old were you when you remember the first time that this was a problem? “Oh, well, it’s been a problem since I was a child.” What teenager? 10, nine, eight, whatever. And, for her anyway, it went all the way back to her being in utero. So, we uncovered that her mother was constipated and had a lot of stress hormones being pumped into the child. The child is in the tummy, the baby is not exempt from those stress hormones, that creates a stressful environment for the baby and when the baby is born, sometimes that’s the outcome. So, the girl was constipated since she was born, that’s what she said. She said, “I’ve been constipated since I was born.”
So, that’s when I said, “Go have a conversation with your mom. Find out what her life was like when she was pregnant with you.” That is considered traumatic to a child. Traumatic to the body, so much to the point that it stopped her from using the bathroom. So, the thing is this, you could’ve changed everything about her life for her, helped her, make recommendations, she would take all these action steps to everything, and if she’s still not using the bathroom, and it’s just an example, then you got to go deeper.
The other thing that I want to talk about, that’s why trauma was made a part of my seven foundations, is that everything can be in place. And if you’re not talking about the origin of someone’s pain or problem or trauma, you’re really not getting to the bottom of it. And, that can stop all progress in health. Because trauma is stressful to the body and when the body’s under stress, as we all know, everything else doesn’t work properly.
So, the other thing I want to talk about real quick is programming. Programming is something that we’ve all been programmed since the time that we were born, by the family that we were raised with to believe a certain thing about ourselves. And, to believe a certain thing, like a core belief might be, I’m not good enough, or a core belief might be, I’m not pretty enough. It may be something like, I can’t do this by myself. So, if you are a health coach, and this is about health coaches right now, that is feeling like you’ve got something that’s blocking you and you feel like you’ve got everything in place for your business and for your life, or even for your own health, there could be a programmed core belief inside of you that is stopping you from being successful.
Now, this is the same type of thing with clients. Bear with me, because there’s a little bit of cross-over here. So, while I’m coaching you as coaches, that if you are not successfully making money in your business and you feel like you’ve done everything and you’ve got a bunch of excuses out there like, Oh, well, nobody in my community has money and this, this, this.”
There is probably a programmed core belief inside of you that is preventing you from either moving forward, making decisions that are better for you and your life, preventing you from bringing that abundance into your life. Same thing for clients. So, if they’re not reaching goals and they’re not succeeding in accomplishing the health that they want to achieve, there could be a programmed core belief in them as well, that they don’t believe that they deserve to be healthy or that they are not capable of being healthy.
And that might sound something like this. So, maybe working with someone and they’re like, “It’s okay, My mom has thyroid stuff, my aunt too and so does my grandma and so does my sister. So, it’s just my lot in life.” And we’ve heard this, we’ve heard, “Well it’s genetic, so of course I’m going to have that.”
That’s a programming inside of them that they believe that just because everyone else had this problem, that they’re going to have this problem too or that that’s just something they have to live with. And many times that starts when we’re little, say we’ve got that mom that says, “Well, I’ve got a thyroid problem, I’m just overweight, and that’s just the way it is. There is no way out of this.” We could be working with clients that say in their minds subconsciously, they believe there is no way out of this, and they’re telling their body that. They not only have received the programming as a child, but they’ve been reinforcing that programming as they’ve gotten older, due to what they were taught when they were little.
Are you guys tracking me on this? Give me something here that tells me that you’re hearing me and that it’s making sense. So, trauma, core beliefs, programming, all of this stuff is stuff that I’m going to be talking a lot more about as I do lives because every single time that I think about, what is it that’s holding health coaches back? Because I’m putting a lot of energy and time into coaches and understanding where you guys are and trying to figure out, what is it that you guys are feeling why you feel like you can’t succeed in this business. Where is this coming from? And, as I’ve taken on one-on-one mentoring people, I am finding out that we are really, really digging into the personal side of things with most of them before we are able to even get to the business side of things. Finding out where their belief system came in, and we’ve all heard the term, Keeping up with the Jones’.
So, many times when we’re on coaching here, when we are raised we’ve been told, “We’re not going to keep up with the Jones’, we’re on a budget, we’ve got one income.” We’ve got all of those beliefs, those programmed beliefs that have been with you since you were little, could be carried into your business and preventing you from being successful. Same as if you’re working with a client who is programmed to believe that they were destined to have a specific problem because someone in their family had it and now they can’t overcome it because of that. Does that make sense? So, if you’re not working on your own stuff and you’re not digging into why you aren’t successful, because I’m telling you right now, hands down, there isn’t one coach that can’t come to me that I can’t figure out how to help him make money.
I’m telling you right now, that is the absolute truth because this business is designed for us to make a nice income. If we can get over whatever’s going on in here, in our hearts and our minds and our programming, it’s very easy. Sick people outnumber health coaches by the zillions. They’re on every corner. There are sick people on every street of your neighborhood right now, and there are systems to put into place to be able to get those people to you.
However, if you are struggling with marketing, if you are struggling with confidence, if you’ve got the mindset that you don’t have the money to invest in your business and neither does your client to invest in you, you’ve got something programmed inside of you that’s preventing you from being successful. Hands down, that’s it.
It’s only going to benefit you when you start working with your clients because the psychology of all of this, and I was just talking to … what’s the matter?
But my point is this, you can carry everything that you will learn, everything I’m teaching you about yourselves and how the programs and the beliefs and all of that about yourselves, can be used with your clients.
You just have to work on your own stuff so that you’re skilled enough to uncover this with clients. One of my favorite things to do is to take my coaches and dig in and figure it out and pull out the blockage, and pull it out. And yesterday I had a two hour mentorship call with somebody and she was just like, “This stuff is so powerful. How did you get so skilled at the psychology of this? How did you learn how to talk to clients to get to the bottom of their problems?”
The only way that I know that stuff is because I did it for myself and I’m always, always evolving and working on myself. So, let me just say this one more time. What I want to say is this, is that if you are not successful in your business, if you got the bones of your business laid out, and I know how much knowledge you have, if you are not successful and you don’t have people signed up right now and you’re blaming people outside or situations outside of yourself, that is even more of an indication to get the mirror out and take a look at yourself and say, “Can I get really honest with myself right now in this moment, have I done the work to get to the bottom of my core beliefs and programming that are keeping me from being successful? How am I holding myself back?”
Because the only reason that health coaches aren’t successful if they’ve done the actual foundational business part of the work, is themselves. That’s it. It’s in here, it’s right up here. Because all of the energy that you put out to the world, that’s what’s going to grow.
So, if you’re putting out there that you don’t have the money and they don’t have the money and you don’t have the time and there’s no one here I can do this with and my gosh, no one needs health coaches and no one can afford me, you’re never going to have one client, two clients, you’re never going to grow. But if you can say, “You know what, I am overcoming these problems, I have worked on my core beliefs and programming, I am no longer that child or that small, younger person or whatever, that was told that they weren’t worthy, or was told they couldn’t make a business of this. I even have a girl whose father even says to her, “I don’t even know why you’re trying to make this business work.” It literally had her stall in her business and we worked really hard in undoing that programming, and she’s like, “How did I ever let that happen? How did I ever let that happen to myself?” You don’t know that it’s happening. Most of the time it’s a subconscious thing that you have to have some outside objective viewpoints to be able to pull those blind spots out.
I hope that’s helpful. You’re never going to hear this canned stuff about coaching on my page. So, I love when people pop in and join me and share information about yourselves. And I want to learn more about you and what you need, you guys.
I had a member once say that her mother only used to tell her husband she didn’t have a thyroid issue until he was born. To this day he still has a belief that he gave her the thyroid issue. Yes, see! That’s absolutely crazy, I mean crazy, crazy. Yes, and now he’s been diagnosed with a thyroid problem just like his mom.
And you know what though? Here’s the thing. The thing is, is that the thyroid problem … yes, it’s probably not so much with a man and a woman and a mom that he believed that he was going to get the thyroid problem because she got it, but more than anything, the thyroid is our communication center. And for him to not speak up about what she made him feel like throughout his life, probably created that. Because again, it’s our communication center, it’s our messenger, it tells the rest of the body what’s going on. And if we are stifled and we hold back on what we feel and what we believe, that is one of the places that we can develop a problem, is right there in that gland.
So, and this is just a thought, but if he were able to express himself to her, or to be able to write a letter, he doesn’t even have to mail it, he doesn’t even have to talk to her, but to say, for you to put that on me for my entire life, it was very harmful. And really express those feelings that he has about what that was when she did that, what a bunch of crap. Yeah, she got a thyroid issue because of her kid, whatever! Talk about boundary issues there.
But I’m wondering, even if he wrote the letter to her, really got it out of his system and then he burnt the letter and let it go, would the thyroid problem resolve itself eventually since he’s not been diagnosed that long? But for me, I’ve got thyroid problems, it was undiagnosed for over a decade, so, the damage is done. Not that I don’t believe that I can get well, but there are instances where you have to be on medication and things like that. So, absolutely. I kept on saying that she’s reading a book on clarity cleanse, I’m starting with emotional stuff and the outliers for entrepreneurs. Very good. Yes, and, the easiest thing to do is, you can even go in and just type in Google ‘core beliefs in programming’. Yeah, the relationship is strained, she laid that on him.
But you guys, here’s the other part of it. Sometimes what’s going on with you and our clients too, is that we have ancestral trauma that doesn’t even belong to us. It doesn’t even belong to us, and we’re carrying it around in our bodies and our clients are doing the same thing. They’re carrying around that trauma in their body that doesn’t even belong to them, it’s not even part of their memory. So, that is a very real thing, it gets passed down in the DNA. This is not something to just poo poo and “Oh, this is a bunch of hooey.” It’s absolutely, this is science. This is the truth.
So, that’s why it’s important when we have done everything that we can do to make suggestions and recommendations to people, and we think that they have done everything that they can, we have to know how to dig in and talk about the psychology of trauma. Know that we are not counselors or therapists, but that we’re referring people out to get support for those things and walking them through the steps of how important it is, is part of the coaching process. Because nothing else matters. Anything you put them on, anything supplement why we shouldn’t be doing that anyway, but, suggest or any food you recommend, all of that stuff can be undone if that one thing is not taken care of.
Thanks for joining in you guys. The Clarity Cleanse book about speaking about what you want, speaking on the other thyroid, the communication center. Yes, I know, I know, this is good stuff, but gosh, dang, ever since I started studying core beliefs and programming and boundaries, attachment styles and attachment, what kind of attachment style we all have, I’m first down the rabbit hole bringing everything I can to you guys about this stuff, because it’s that important, it is that big, it makes that big of a difference on people’s health. And I think that we should all be growing and learning as much as we can. If we want to help people, we got to help ourselves first.
So, as we go along, you get to benefit from my dysfunction. How about that? Because as I’ve learned through my life, if I’m not working on me, I don’t deserve to be working with anyone else. And that’s kind of how I feel about teaching coaches. Work on yourselves, take what you learn, carry it into your coaching business and believe me, the people that need you are going to come to you.
Bye guys. Thanks for joining in and make sure that You Need to Address This ONE Thing! See you later.